Образцы ielts essay “Education”

 

Ниже привожу образец моего ielts essay “Education” на 8.5 band score.

Some people think that it is better to educate girls and boys separately. Others, however, believe that children benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both points of view.

Шаг первый: перефразируем задание + формулируем 1 аргумент за и 1 аргумент против во вступлении + выдвигаем наше мнение (какую сторону поддерживаем):

A growing concern about different approaches to educating children can be seen in the modern society. The argument that male and female students ought to be separated for achieving better academic performance is both supported and refuted by many. I am going to discuss these opinions according to personal and academic perspectives.

Шаг 2: поясняем почему дети должны обучаться  вместе + ослабляем этот аргумент предложением “However, it is clear that…”:

On the one hand, it is virtually impossible to gain communicative skills without being exposed to interaction with the opposite sex. A prime example is the United States, where the vast majority of students who are educated in classes without gender separation experience difficulties in social adaptation in the long run. Thus, not only does socializing in mixed schools ensure a gradual integration into the real community, but it also fosters advanced personal skills. The benefit of mixed education as simulation of real life relationships in the conducive school environment can therefore be seen.

Шаг 3: поясняем преимущество раздельного образования + пример для подкрепления вашей позиции

However, on the other side of this argument, it must be remembered that the presence of the opposite gender might be highly distractive for high school students, encouraging them to focus on flirting rather than academic achievements. For instance, recent research sheds new light on the impact of studying in mixed classes, as it demonstrated a lower average score in comparison with mixed-sex classes. Unfortunately, on no account should a relatively low concentration level in co-education institutions be ignored. Thus, this makes it clear why the argument that it is reasonable to divide pupils according to their gender in terms of maintaining a  distraction-free educational environment could also be possible.

Шаг 4: делаем вывод + дублируем нашу позицию в заключении
In conclusion, both sides of the argument regarding co-education have strong support. However, after analysing the two camps it is clear that the idea of mixing students regardless their sex highlights the need for naturally occurring socialization. It is time educational organizations took the first steps in adapting their pupils to requirements presented by the adulthood world.

275 words

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