IELTS Problem and Solution essay: Violence shown on TV

A lot of people believe that the amount of violence shown on TV and in the cinema affects the actions of our young people and therefore increases the amount of violence in our society today. 
Do you agree or disagree with this statement? 
What can be done to reduce violence in our society today? 

 

Перед нами так называемый 2-part question essay, первый вопрос спрашивает наше мнение о причине роста насилия в обществе, второй вопрос о возможных решениях этой проблемы. В таких типах эссе нужно обратить внимание на 2 момента:

  1. Каждый параграф смысловой части отвечает на 1 вопрос.
  2. Причина и предлагаемое решение должны быть взаимосвязаны – если источник проблемы это семья, решение тоже должно быть направлено на семью.

 

Пример эссе моей студентки:

It is believed that violence shown on screens encourages young adults to commit crimes, thus increasing the level of violence in society. I disagree with this view as, in my opinion, juvenile violence is primarily caused by exposure to violence in family and not media content, which can be addressed by creating a healthy family environment.

It is the family environment that influences children’s violence behavior more than TV or cinema. There is a direct relationships between adverse family environment and juvenile violence because children primarily learn through imitation of their immediate surrounding. The amount of time spent in front of TV is negligible in comparison with time spent with relatives. As a result, growing up in violence, children are likely to commit acts of criminal violence or abuse later in life, as they consider such behavior as normal. 

To reduce violence, children should be raised in healthy family relationships. Positive relationships promote non-violent behaviour and support children and young people’s mental health. There is no place for violence in families, where people trust and rely on each other for support, love, affection and warmth. In such relationships, even rare conflicts are dealt with in a safe and respectful way, teaching children healthy conflict-solving strategies.

In conclusion, I disagree that violence shown on screens increases the violence level in society as it is family environment that has the biggest impact on it. Although, being raised in health relationships, children are less likely to he behave violently later in life.

(Band 7.5)

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