Как написать IELTS Opinion essay: “Raising the retirement age essay” в 4 шага
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[subtitle2]Мой вариант IELTS Opinion essay (Band Score 8.0 approximately)[/subtitle2]
People live longer today and so people should stay in the workforce longer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Шаг первый: после перефразированная формулируем наше мнение + 2 аргумента почему:
Nowadays, the average life expectancy is growing, thus it is believed that the retirement age ought to be raised. In my opinion, this is a reasonable suggestion as it benefits both individuals and society.
Шаг 2: поясняем первый аргумент + пример для подкрепления вашей позиции:
A good reason to stay employed longer is that it increases tax revenue, therefore, contributing to social well-being. At present, the amount of the economically active population is rapidly decreasing, frequently resulting in national budget deficits. Not only do elder taxpayers compensate shortages caused by demographic disproportion, but they also ensure well a balanced economy in the long run. For instance, it has been revealed that the elderly’s payments make up the largest proportion of GDP while only a tiny percentage is provided by those taking the first steps in their career.
Шаг 3: поясняем второй аргумент +пример для подкрепления вашей позиции:
Another point to consider implementing a higher retirement age is its beneficial impact on maintaining both physical and psychological health of ageing employees. On no account should favourable consequences of staying professionally active till an old age be ignored. A prime example is Japan, the country with the highest life expectancy rate, where citizens stay capable of working longer than in any other region. Therefore, without being employed, senior citizens are far more likely to degradetheir health and mind.
Шаг 4: дублируем мнение в заключении + суммируем оба аргумента:
In conclusion, I am firmly convinced that raising the retirement age is a must for any country that aims to ensure financial prosperity and longevity for its citizens. It is high time our society adapted changes required by a rapidly increasing human’s lifespan.
280 words
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