Эссе моего студента IELTS essay Problem and Solution: Overpopulation в 4 шага (Band Score 7.5)

[subtitle2]Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.[/subtitle2]

Шаг первый: формулируем 2 решения во вступлении:

Nowadays big cities are crowded and this fact has huge number of negative consequences such as increasing of citizens’ high stress level. This essay will discuss the most effective measures to improve the situation which are improvement of public transport and development of suburbs’ infrastructure.

Шаг 2: поясняем как избежать проблемы стресса + подкрепляем примером:

The principal cause of people being stressed is time spent in traffic jams and this leads to need to improve public transport routes and availability. In other words, not only is renovation of transport facilities able to reduce traffic jams, but it also can decrease the level of physical and mental pressure on citizens. Furthermore, people should not ignore the named changes and prefer buses and trams to private cars. For example, having conducted a research among Russian Standard Bank employees, analysts have revealed that after the appearance of new underground station near the office 50% of bank workers shortened their commuting time to workplace by 30%.

Шаг 3: поясняем второе решение как избежать проблемы стресса + подкрепляем примером:

It is quite evident that the best approach to tackle the problem of residents’ nervousness is to develop distant neighborhoods. Rarely do authorities and corporations understand the importance of moving their offices out of downtowns. Moreover, people individually should require from the government equal spreading of facilities such as schools, theatres and hospitals between cities’ parts. For example, an opinion poll conducted by “Levada Center” showed that people who live in carefully organized suburbs are at 60% more satisfied with their lives than those who live in dormitories.

 Шаг 4: суммируем оба решения заключении:

In summary, the most effective ways to tackle the issue of stress caused by overpopulation are transport renovation and suburbs’ reorganization.

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