IELTS Essay: Money is the best gift to teenagers

Недавно моему студенту на тесте попалось такое задание:

“Some people think that money is the best gift to teenagers, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.”

Пишем Discuss Both Views Essay в 4 шага, первый пример эссе:

Шаг первый: перефразируем задание + формулируем 1 аргумент за и 1 аргумент против во вступлении + выдвигаем наше мнение (какую сторону поддерживаем):

While giving money as a gift to young people is sometimes believed to be the most appropriate, there are those who are strongly opposed to this. In my opinion, I believe this gift should be preferred by parents since, being presented with money, youngsters gain a golden opportunity to learn how to manage this resource, while the risks of money misuse are negligible.

Шаг 2: поясняем преимущество  + пример для подкрепления вашей позиции:

Although monetary gifts are sometimes believed to be inappropriate for children, it is financial literacy that is gained while managing these presents. This is because, at some point in their life, teenagers have to learn how to deal with their personal finances, be it some pocket money or a gift to spend. If not being provided with this opportunity at this tender age, they are likely to get burdened with debts in their adult life.

Шаг 3: поясняем другую сторону + ослабляем этот аргумент предложением “However, it is clear that…”:

Admittedly, there is some likelihood that this monetary present will be poorly managed, more often than not, since never before has the young generation been bombarded with such a variety of temptations to waste money on. For instance, every second top-selling computer game tends to literally rob young gamers of their pocket money for updating their profiles. However, these mistakes are not only virtually inevitable but also, to some extent, educative in terms of financial management.

Шаг 4: делаем вывод о преимуществе (дублируем нашу позицию в заключении)

In conclusion, though people may vary in their opinions, I am convinced that money is an advantageous gift since, being presented with a monetary gift, children are nurtured to be financially literate in the long run.

(band 7)

Нужна ежедневная практика IELTS writing c моей проверкой?

Второй пример эссе Essay Discuss Both Views:

The argument that money is the most appropriate present for youngsters is both supported and refuted by many. I entirely agree that cash is an appropriate way to congratulate young people as this teaches adolescents how to manage their own funds.

On the one hand, only by having their personal finances, could youngsters realize the actual need to control expenses. On no account should the importance of such an effective tool to learn money management as personal budgeting be ignored. If it were not for savings made from gifts, young people could not afford considerable purchases in the long run. For example,  many teenagers declare their intention to save money for valuable commodities rather than spending it for minor purchases, which is where money management are essential.

On the other hand, there is a risk that youngsters might waste given money. The reason for this is that rarely do adolescents realize the values of money given as a gift. However, it is parents who should control purchases of their children in order to avoid such waste. Foe this purpose, teenagers can be taught to ask for parents’ advice before spending their personal budget.

In conclusion, though people may vary in their opinions, I am firmly convinced that having personal money seems to be one of the most effective learning tools. This is owing to the fact that this approach boosts essential skills which youngsters will definitely apply in their adult lives.

(band 7)