Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or a shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Шаг первый: перефразируем задание + формулируем 1 аргумент за и 1 аргумент против во вступлении + выдвигаем наше мнение (какую сторону поддерживаем):

It is sometimes argued that when someone is caught in an unfavorable situation such as an unfulfilling job or a permanent lack of finance, an individual should go with a flow and be content with whatever they have. However, there are those who believe that it is a change which is the most preferable course of action in the aforementioned circumstances. I entirely support the latter view because on no account should any human being suffer during their life span. Firstly, this essay will discuss the benefits of a proactive attitude towards life, and secondly, it will analyze assumed satisfaction from yielding to one’s life circumstances.

Шаг 2: поясняем преимущество  + пример для подкрепления вашей позиции

On the one hand, backers of improving life situations appeal to the fact that only by working towards a better life, unsatisfactory situations might be recast. This is because any action would break the equilibrium, whether for good or for bad. As a result of making enough favourable changes, the overall life quality would definitely turn to better in the long run. The precedence of proactive attitude over the passive one can be vividly illustrated by a widely known fairytale about two frogs trapped in the jug of cream. They could not jump out of the jar, so one of them refused to do anything and had drowned, while the other moved her legs constantly, which turned cream into butter, letting that frog escape certain death.

Шаг 3: поясняем другую сторону + ослабляем этот аргумент предложением “However, it is clear that…”:

On the other hand, supporters of embracing whatever fate they have based their opinion on the assumption that however dire situation they live in, it is better to be content, since things might have been much worse. The reason for that is that such people do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. As a consequence, fearing to lose whatever little good they have. However, it is crystal clear that in our dog eat dog world if an individual opts out of the change, he will eventually be stripped even of his miserable living conditions and plunged into more heinous ones. For example, there is a caste in India called “untouchables”, who do the most tedious and dirty work or begging in the streets. Since they accept their lot, their lives stay the same for generations, with no chance to be changed.

Шаг 4: делаем вывод о преимуществе (дублируем нашу позицию в заключении)

In conclusion, though many people may vary in their opinions, I am firmly convinced, that trying to change the circumstances in better than accepting them and doing nothing. This is due to the fact that rarely do things transform to better by themselves. 400

Grammar errors:2 + 4

Vocabulary inaccuracies:-

Advanced Grammar Structures: 4

Less commonly used vocabulary: 15+

Cohesive & Reference Devices:4+4

Approximate Band 7.0

Task Achievement 7.0

Coherence and Cohesion 7.0

Lexical Resource 7.5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.5