Advantages and disadvantages Essay: Private and public transport

In some countries, the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation and discourages private vehicle ownership. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation. 

Пишем эссе в четыре шага:

Шаг 1: формулируем 1 преимущество и 1 недостаток во вступлении + пишем какую сторону поддерживаем:

In our contemporary world authorities of certain states have encouraged citizens to use mainly urban transportation service, rather than having personal cars. Firstly, this essay will discuss the reduced severity of traffic jams as the main benefit of public transport promotion, and secondly, it will analyze complicated commute as the major drawback of this policy.

Шаг 2: поясняем преимущество+ пример для подкрепления вашей позиции:

One of the principal advantages to be mentioned is the fact that the burden of traffic congestion would be lightened, provided that the majority of people used public vehicles. This is because on no account should the importance of this promotional policy be ignored. As a result, by providing citizens with decent transportation services at a reasonable fare, the authorities motivate people not to use their own automobiles, hence,  lower the density of cars on roads in the long run. For instance, having carried out a statistical survey, sociologists have discovered that almost 89% of Portuguese citizens noticed the considerable prevention of traffic jams after the government had implemented certain measures to boost the image of public transport.

Шаг 3: поясняем недостаток + подкрепляем примером:

The main disadvantage associated with the usage of common vehicles is that ordinary commute seems to have become far more complex than it used to be before the promotion of urban transportation services. This is owing to the fact that rarely does public transport offer the most appropriate way to reach each particular destination due to its weak network. Thus, it is obvious that citizens might have such difficulties during their commuting as long waiting time between different means of transport. For instance, recently it has been revealed that 79% of Oslo residents using public transport have to change at least two means of transport in order to get to their office and back home.

Шаг 4: в заключении дублируем наше мнение:

In conclusion, the benefits of prevailing public transport over the private one, such as the minimized amount of congestion on roads, must be weighed against the drawbacks, such as commute that has become more intricate.

320

Grammar errors:2+2

Vocabulary inaccuracies:2

Cohesive & reference devices: 5 + 3

Advanced Grammar Structures: 7

Less commonly used vocabulary: 10+

Approximate Band 7.0

Task Achievement 7.0

Coherence and Cohesion 7.0

Lexical Resource 7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy 7.5