Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company. Why this can be the case? What could be the disadvantages of this?

Пишем эссе в четыре шага:

Шаг 1️⃣: после перефразированная формулируем мнение + аргумент почему вы занимаете эту позицию + отвечаем на 2-й вопрос (решение, причина, фактор):

We live in the era of a large variety of employment options, thus, never before have individuals become freelancers. Firstly, this essay will discuss the most appropriate life-work balance as the main cause of this tendency, and secondly, it will analyze the possible isolation of self-employed persons, which leads to the obsolescence of skills and technologies.

Шаг 2️⃣: поясняем первый аргумент + пример:

The main reason why a large number of people opt to work freelance is that they are eager to find the most suitable working schedule to meet their professional and personal requirements. This is because, if it were not for being self-employed, individuals would not devote a decent part of the time to their families or personal hobbies. As a result, not only are individuals able to obtain a flexible working schedule, but they can also have as much time for personal desires, as possible. For instance, having carried out statistical research, sociologists have discovered that almost 85% of respondents working for a company declared that their schedules had interfered with their personal lives.

Шаг:3️⃣ поясняем второй аргумент +пример:

However, the main drawback of such a trend could be the professional seclusion of individuals which causes the decline of the goods or services quality in the long run. This is owing to the fact that on no account should the importance of beneficial communication with educated colleagues be ignored. As a consequence, by being inside of a professional community, individuals receive an opportunity to discover and share valuable thoughts on new technologies and scientific know-how. For example, recent research among IT-specialists has revealed that 58% of freelancers experience obstacles with receiving fresh skills, therefore, they prefer to join a certain vocational network.

Шаг 4️⃣: дублируем мнение в заключении + суммируем оба аргумента:

In conclusion, a huge number of people have become self-employed due to the fact that a flexible working schedule will allow them to meet their individual ambitions. Albeit, there would be a threat to their competency and expertise.

Grammar errors:2+4

Vocabulary inaccuracies:0

Advanced Grammar Structures: 5

Less commonly used vocabulary: 10+

Cohesive & reference devices: 5 + 3

Approximate Band 7.0

Task Achievement 7.0

Coherence and Cohesion 7.0

Lexical Resource 7.5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy 7.0