Today, more and more people choose to live by themselves. What are the causes of this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Шаг 1️⃣: после перефразированная формулируем мнение + аргумент почему + отвечаем на 2-й вопрос:

In our contemporary world rarely do people belonging to certain communities follow family values, thus, they prefer to live alone. I am firmly convinced that this tendency will lead to adverse circumstances for the whole society. Firstly, this essay will discuss increased disposition towards the career path among the population as the principal cause of living a secluded life, and secondly, it will analyze the decrease of the birth rate as the foremost outcome of the solitary life.

Шаг 2️⃣: поясняем первый аргумент + пример:

The main reason why people opt to live on their own is that they gravitate to pursue a career rather than having their own family. This is because not only do individuals want to become prosperous, but they are also required to show their best performance. As a result, only by sacrificing all the time to hard work, could they obtain desirable effect in the long run, since the pace of current life seems to have become far more hectic. For example, having carried out the statistic survey, sociologists have revealed that at least 85% of graduates in Melbourne had declared the intention to devote all their efforts to the professional life.

Шаг:3️⃣ поясняем второй аргумент +пример:

The most crucial concern connected to this trend is that on no account should the importance of population growth be ignored. This is owing to the fact that if it were not for a career-oriented way of life, the majority of people would prefer to create a family. As a consequence, it is high time the society undertook certain actions to boost family values. For instance, recently it has been disclosed that the birth rate in Australia has been decreased by 8,5% for the last 3 years.

Шаг 4️⃣: дублируем мнение в заключении + суммируем оба аргумента:

In conclusion, I believe that the choice to live without a family has a disadvantageous impact on society, particularly it leads to the natality decrease. This is due to the fact that the intention to pursue a career is considered to be the main reason to refuse family values.

Grammar errors: 3

 Vocabulary inaccuracies: 0

Advanced Grammar Structures: 7

Less commonly used vocabulary: 10+

Approximate Band 7.5

Task Achievement 7.0

Coherence and Cohesion 7.0

Lexical Resource 7.5

Grammatical Range and Accuracy 7.5